I took some of Jordi's clothes and toys to the consignment sale last night in hopes that I might make enough to cover the expenses of his upcoming birthday. It makes me sad packing up his old clothes. Clothes that he can no longer fit in, toys that are not "big boy" enough for him now. What happened to my baby? He is such a big boy now. The years seem to fly by so quickly once you have children. He will be starting school in the blink of an eye. So all this reflection on Jordi's being little then growing up makes me think - Do I want another one?
I really don't know. I would like to adopt again, but financially that is not feasible. Which is a shame because so many kids need homes. I could try to have a baby the "old fashioned" way, but I am not sure how I feel about that. We tried for awhile to have a child biological, but it didn't work out, so we started the adoption process which we had planned to do anyway. I don't think I can handle conceiving. I am not sure if I want to pregnant. And I also think that I have been so blessed with Jordi why would I want another one. And how could I ever love another child as much as I love Jordi? I know, I know, everyone says that you just do, but I love Jordi so much. For now I am not going to worry about it. It is in God's hands. The decision is too big for me to deal with.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I think you will know when your family is ready.
ReplyDelete